WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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