I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
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I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
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They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
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