She announced her abortion via fbk
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize