I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Betty ford says i'm here all night
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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