i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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