Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize