you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize