I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
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So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
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You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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