last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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