Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize