Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize