Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize