She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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