jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
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Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
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For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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