my shit smells like andre
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
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