What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
