I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
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What a dumb baby whore.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
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The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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