8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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