just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize