for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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