Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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