Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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