smell my finger.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize