i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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