He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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