my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she pinky promised me she was 18
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
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