I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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