she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize