i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize