I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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