I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
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this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
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