where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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