Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize