O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I think I won the penis lottery.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
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"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
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How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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