Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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