his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
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I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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