i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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