bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
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I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
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people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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