Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
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He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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