either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
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He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
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So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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