Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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