I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize