So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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