sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize