These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
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