whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
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I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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