why didn't you poke me back
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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