I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize