and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
You smell like stripper and shame
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
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