Tell her she can't have a vagina
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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