Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize